In these sometimes tough economic times, periods of unemployment is sometimes the reality. You worry about what will happen to you and your family. You worry about emergency situations popping up. The National Child and Traumatic Stress Network released a fact sheet for parents. This article is a summation of that article about coping in hard times.
When we face financial difficulties it affects our quality of life by affecting our sense of safety, the ability to calm ourselves, belief in ourselves and the community we live in as well as our sense of hope.
Our sense of safety is the belief that our needs and those we care about will be met now and in the future. The world feels less safe when you can’t find work; don’t have enough money for food, rent and transportation. You could be forced to take extra jobs to make ends meet. You could feel worried, sad, angry or just feel like giving up. You may avoid friends and family and argue with your spouse. Trouble sleeping, focusing or being patient with others may be difficult.
When you don’t feel safe, everyday problems can seem much worse than they really are. The stress of everyday life can be overwhelming.
So how can you feel better? What can you do to promote a sense of safety for yourself and your family?
- Talk about your worries to someone who you can trust and who will support you.
- Talk to your children about what is going on. Be honest, let them know right now things are difficult but things will get better. Use language they can understand.
- Encourage your children to talk about what they are feeling. If not with you, then a trusted adult.
- If you or your older children are feeling scared about the way things are right now; make a list of options and resources that are available to you. For example, the Food Bank, the Good Food Box and Community Kitchens.
- Think of ways that your family has gotten through tough times before and use this to fuel your fight to get through this situation too.
- Don’t stop looking for jobs. Utilize community resources such as http://workprep.ca/. Consider workshops at community organizations such as http://reginafoodbank.ca/programs/
- Plan for family time in a creative way. Look for free or inexpensive activities such as board games, going for a walk or playing video games.
- Be patient with younger children who may cling more to you.
- Avoid watching too much TV or reading Internet news about the economy. This constant exposure to can cause you to worry more about your particular situation.
- Try and keep to your regular family routine as much as possible.
What about our ability to calm ourselves during this unsettled period? Calming is the skill of self-soothing; the ability to become peaceful in mind and body. It is being able to relax your body and your mind so that you can focus and concentrate.
What are some ways to stay calm and help your family feel calm?
- Reassure family members that “you are going through a tough time and reacting in an understandable way to a very difficult situation”. It helps everyone to stay calm once you understand that others are feeling the same way.
- Think about some things you already know that calm you; listening to music, talking to a friend or going for a walk and do these more often. If one or more of them makes you feel even a small bit better increase the activity.
- Consider some other ways to calm yourself. Try something new like yoga, tai chi or meditation. The City of Regina has the Affordable Fun Program http://www.regina.ca/residents/social-grants-programs/family-programs/affordable-fun-program/index.htm that can help you afford these programs.
- Exercise is one of the most beneficial ways to boost your immune system and your sense of well-being. It doesn’t have to be running a marathon – it can be something as simple as walking around the neighbourhood.
- Brainstorm options with people whose opinion you value.
- Continue to spend quality time with all of the family doing activities such as board games, going for a walk or video games.
- Keep a journal, paint or draw a picture or meditate. These can all help alleviate some of the negative feelings that are within us during difficult times.
- Practice thought blocking techniques that help prevent us from spiraling downward into a negative mindset.
Self-efficacy is the belief that within yourself that you can do what you need to do such as handle challenges and tough times. Community-efficacy is that the belief that the community you belong to can do what it needs to do to be successful, thrive and take care of its members. When you are facing economic hardships it is difficult not to see all the negativity in the community such as vacant buildings, vandalism and trash laying about. So how can you help yourself and your family build that self and community efficacy back up?
- Find ways for your family to get involved in the community. Volunteer at a non-profit or community organization. The City of Regina provides contact information for various community organizations within the city for volunteer opportunities https://www.regina.ca/residents/recreation/zones-community-association/
- Connect with others within your community to forge new friendships and employment connections.
Having people in our lives be it individuals or group who understand and support us is very important. When you are not working there is the tendency to stay at home and shut yourself off from family and friends. The more you do this, the more you feel like you don’t belong. You also miss the opportunity to share troubles, receive understanding and compassion, gain support from others, and distract yourself from your worries and meeting new contacts.
- Encourage all family members to get out of the house and meet people and do new things.
- Still maintain the weekly “family” time and make sure to eat a meal together each day if possible.
- Don’t isolate yourself. Reconnect with family and friends.
- Reach out to others.
Loosing hope is a common feeling during tough times. Hope is the expectation that things will work out, the feeling that everything is going to be alright. Foster hope can be difficult when you are not feeling very positive. Some ways to foster hope are as follows:
- If you have faith in a higher power try to revisit these beliefs.
- Join with others in your community for emotional support and encouragement.
- Ask a trusted friend or family member how they maintained hope in a troubled time.
- Make a list of your strengths and talents, and see what your options are.
- Find something that makes you feel even the smallest bit better and keep doing it.
- Avoid activities that make you feel more depressed such as watching the news.
- If you are feeling suicidal, get help, now. Phone 811, Mobile Crisis 306-757-0127, go to one of the hospitals in Regina (the General or the Pasqua). There is help available.
In tough economic times many of us face extreme difficulties. We can feel that there is nothing we can do about it. Hopefully this article will give you a few workable solutions that you can employ to give you back that sense of hope.
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